Despite having different memories of how their first date went, Texas State President Kelly Damphousse and First Lady Beth Damphousse celebrated their 37th anniversary on Jan. 21. They hope their story can be one of inspirational advice for students navigating relationships.
Kelly moved from Canada in 1985 to attend Sam Houston State University, but he didn’t know his way around Texas very well. When a friend invited him to a Baptist Student Union camping retreat, he accepted. Having never been to church, he wasn’t sure what to expect. Halfway through the service, a girl stood up and began singing.
Kelly remembers turning to his friends and asking two questions: “Who was she?” and “How many times a week do you guys do this?” Soon, he began attending church weekly.
Kelly and Beth remained friends at first because Beth was in a relationship. When Kelly discovered she was newly single, he knew his time had come.
“I got on my motorcycle and drove to her house and said, ‘Hey Beth, I heard what happened and just wanted to let you know I am here for you,’” Kelly said. “And then that was the beginning of everything.”
Beth, who initially was hesitant about the “wild” Canadian boy who drove a motorcycle and wore leather chaps, was cornered by a woman from their church who took a mentor role with Kelly and convinced her to give him a chance.
On their first date, as Kelly remembers, he picked Beth up on his motorcycle and took her for ice cream. When he dropped her off at her triplex, he asked, “That went pretty well, right? We should date.” After she said, “Okay,” he said, “So that means we’re getting married.”
Even though Beth had convinced herself that nothing serious would come from a man who wanted her to move back to Canada with him, and Kelly was sure he could eventually change her mind, the idea of marriage became more real as their graduation approached.
Beth, who came from a more traditional family, was told they had to wait until after graduation to get married. Kelly, who came from “Canadian culture” and did not understand how the South worked, asked Beth, “Why don’t you ask your parents if we can get married?”
Kelly then received a seven-page, handwritten and single-spaced letter from Beth’s father, a professor at the time, explaining why he did not have his blessing. After Beth graduated in May 1987 and Kelly graduated in December 1987, they received her father’s blessing to get married.
After they had married, Beth convinced him to continue his education despite his uncertainty as a first-generation student. He received his green card and began his academic career at the University of Alabama. During this time, they also had their two daughters, Kayleigh and Kristen.
During their time apart while working toward their degrees, communicating through written letters, and later raising kids, Kelly and Beth believe the secret to a strong relationship amidst busy schedules is finding joy in what each other does and sharing that.
Beth, who knew her husband would have difficulty being entirely off the clock as president, stepped into her role as what she calls “chief volunteer.” Between hosting over 100 university events at their house last year alone, Beth became an essential part of the Texas State community, ready to lend a hand and support her husband’s work.
“I am not the kind of person who can just sit around the house all day dusting things off,” Beth said. “And I appreciate that he considers me a team player in all of this.”
In addition to supporting each other in their work, the Damphousses also believe that communication is key to maintaining a healthy relationship amidst their busy schedules. Kelly admires that, after a tough day when he often experiences imposter syndrome in his role, he can come home knowing Beth will always be her biggest supporter.
“In the toughest moments, when I wonder if someone else could do this job better, I know she’ll always be by my side,” Kelly said.
