The University Star

Satire

Satire: Our time to influence has come

A woman is shown filming herself while receiving social media notification, like hearts and likes, from her computer. Ignoring descruction from outside the window.

Laura Nunez, Opinions Editor

April 17, 2020

The art of influencing on social media is undeniably an honorable feat. To take this angle or that, what a dilemma that must be! Now that millions are staying home all day with the capability of sharing their own scandalously simple mirror selfies, a whole career path is on the verge of being interrupted. Life...

Bobcat football should consist of actual bobcats

Garrett Buss

October 29, 2017

Football season is finally back and we get to watch the Bobcats duke it out against some of the best college teams in America. As students of this fine university, it is our duty to support our great team in any way we can. Recently, however, there seems to be something missing in our football program,...

The key to stopping natural disasters? Garfield movies.

Illustration of the connection between watching more Garfield movies and stopping natural disasters

Garrett Buss

October 16, 2017

The gods have spoken: natural disasters will ravage our world until we get another Garfield movie. Throughout 2017, we have been faced with the worst natural disasters imaginable. Whether it is hurricanes, earthquakes or a third example, our planet has been devastated at a consistent rate. There may be, ho...

Climate change? Unlikely, but Bigfoot? I’s seent it.

Jordan Pilkenton

October 9, 2017

There are a few things in life that are indisputable fact. John Wayne would’ve been this country’s greatest president, the concept of Godzilla is a myth perpetuated by the Japanese in order to make United States manufacturing non-competitive—and Bigfoot is real. While Bigfoot is reality, something...

Indiana Jones negatively portrays Nazis

<strong>Illustration by <a href=Kennedy Swift | Staff Illustrator" />

Jordan Pilkenton

September 28, 2017

Indiana Jones: professor, archaeologist, but American hero? Not even close. He betrays one of the most basic American ideologies: freedom of speech. This charlatan shuts down all chance for discourse in both “Raiders of the Lost Ark & The Last Crusade.” Instead of these films allowing the...

Pre-med major to Instagram star 

<strong>Illustration by <a href=Haley Prieto | Staff Illustrator" />

Garrett Buss

September 21, 2017

Texas State is a place to grow, to learn and to choose a career path that will be the basis of our future; however, it seems growing and learning will simply not cut it anymore. That is why I have decided to throw my dreams of being a medical professional to the wayside, and instead will pursue a more...

Keep your unvaccinated kids away from me and my puppies!

Illustration of a family waiting for their dog to get vaccinated

Jakob Rodriguez

August 4, 2017

Anti-vaxxers will strongly oppose science, logic and the doctor’s consensus all in the name of comfortability among parents and small humans. Heaven forbid however, a dog or animal in general misses his or her shots. If not vaccinating animals is basis for animal cruelty charges, what does that mean...

Defending the First Amendment since 1911
Satire